a musing

Traveled to the county of Essex this last weekend, and retired myself to what I thought was a quiet country hotel.

Turned out that the bloody place was some sort of haven for local weddings, and I was depressingly interrupted from my slumber by the continued pestilence of happy couples and the incessant cheeriness of their many (loud and vulgar) guests.

The saving grace of the whole horrible experience was the presence of 'Essex girls'. A particular favorite of mine.
Generous of thigh and stout of calf, I was perpetually stimulated by the short-skirted, pale and chunky delights that strutted around the hotel grounds.

On one occasion I found myself blagging a glass of bubbly and ingratiated myself with one of these lovely creatures.
I proposed we make intimate acquaintance in the adjacent lavatories, but her suggestion of funding her ailing modeling career in exchange for a brief tug on my flaccid member seemed an unequal deal and I made my excuses.

Thereafter, I repaired to my hotel room and ransacked what little dignity I had left, whilst thoughts of cheap smelling flesh danced through my imagination.

Later that evening I made my way carefully (I'm 71) to the hotel's 'fine-dining' restaurant, where I enjoyed stuffed pigeon and a main course that featured lamb and something purple.
All washed down, of course, with a vintage Liebfraumilch.

It was after the third brandy that I suddenly hit upon an idea for a new film project.
As I gazed upon the carcass of my completed meal, I imagined a talking lamb that goes to Hollywood and falls in love with one of those young socialite types.
The lamb, a gentle and modest creature, makes the young superficial lady lover see the error of her facile ways and they go on a journey of self discovery to the Arctic, where they discover a way to halt global warning.

its a love story with an ecological message!

I hurried back to my hotel room to grab my pen and aper.

At 1:00am the paramedics finally loaded me into the ambulance.

Will it always be this way.... I wonder?